Magic Report 2014

Last week I woke up with rage. I think it was a Wednesday. I went to my usual yoga class and I felt it. Two young girls were chattering loudly in our studio of about 15 silent people. Imagining a less-than tranquil shavassana I grumbleb furiously to myself. After waiting a few minutes for them to settle in and they continued, I took a few deep breaths I walked to the door, opened it and said audibly but calmly, “there is a sign here that says, ‘thank you for not talking.’” One of the girls stared at me in disbelief and the other one said. “Oh, OK.” They were quiet the rest of class and left me to a peaceful shavassana.
Throughout the yoga class I had mind chatter about this. Was I too mean? Nah, I was in the right. When did I get my backbone back? I used to be stand –up-in-your-face confrontational for many years and then I turned into a pushover. I would try to “be Ok with it” when something bothered me to “stay calm” when it gnawed at me inside for days. But today, this seemed a truly assertive move, while being polite. I hate that word assertive. It has ass in it. Anything with ass in it can’t be good, makes one feel foolish. Assertive can mean self-confident or forceful or aggressive. I would much rather the word imply the inherent nobility and courage required to honor self and others rather than the insinuation of being pushy and that respecting and protecting your own needs and those of others in a pre-agreed upon space is somehow undesirable.