Keep the Mojo: Appropriate Parking

There is only one of two spots you can park in when it comes to balance and harmony in your relationship. There is the blue parking spot and the pink parking spot.

Time and time again I have women tell me, “I take a stand in my relationship and I get what I want”. And they are proud of it. Great. But are you happy? If you are taking a stand and demanding, then trust me sister you are parked in the blue spot. And parked in the blue spot is where you will stay, with all of the joys and responsibilities of the blue spot starting with but not limited to being in charge, being respected, being strong and being looked up to. As Pat Allen, on the way to the bathroom from the bedroom in the morning,  do you want to be cherished or do you want to be saluted? Park in the blue spot and you will be saluted.

Park in the pink spot and you will be cherished. Parking in the pink spot brings with it all of the responsibilities and joys of parking in the pink spot such as being cherished.

cher·ish
verb
1. to hold or treat as dear; feel love for: to cherish one's native land.
2. to care for tenderly; nurture: to cherish a child.
3. to cling fondly or inveterately to: to cherish a memory.

It seems for most women, the challenge is “but how do I get what I want” when I am parked in the pink spot. Well Firstly Flechelle Morin would say it’s masculine to want. You know that driving desire needing to be actualized? That is your masculine side and there is nothing wrong with it but if you want to be the feminine energy in your relationship you must let your man lead and you must respect his decision even if you don’t like it I repeat even if you don’t like it.

But you can be parked in the pink spot and get everything you desire as long as you are willing not to have it. I mean, as long as you make it your man’s choice to give you your desires as a gift and not as a response to your demands. I have made this mistake the most and for me it has been the hardest to do especially when you hit mid 30s and you want that ring. Waiting for it to be a gift is excruciating it’s so much easier just to demand it.  I did and I regretted it and still do to this day. You can let him know what they are, what would make you happy and then let him do it HIS way. Hands off.

However, one of the responsibilities of the pink spot is trust, or dare I say even faith, because there are many times in your relationship that it won’t LOOK like he’s doing anything about your desires and you simply have to survive on a plain diet of faith until you see the fruits of all his labors whenever he decided it’s time for their appearance. One of the responsibilities of being parked in the pink spot is choosing to be Ok with that.

Then here’s where the magic happens. When you are in the pink spot and you make a request – not demand – he does hear you. But because it’s his choice to either honor or not honor the request, why would he choose not to? If he loves and cherishes you, why would he choose not to honor a request of yours however silly? And then it’s not you against him as it would be if you had made a demand. Remember, making a demand parks you in the blue spot. And then you will either have a man who vies with you for the blue spot and then it’s you against him and the request becomes the ransom or your man will take the only other available spot which is the pink spot. Then you will whine and complain that he is a sissy, passive and you will be left without a strong man. Your fault, you hogged the blue spot. Don’t hog the blue parking spot.

If you are with a man who habitually hogs the pink spot, and you wish you were the one in the pink spot, you have to do some serious soul searching to find out whether you have been hogging the blue spot and how. If you have to vie with him for the pink spot you are with the wrong man. But only if you have let him take his spot.

So in terms of getting your request met, you lose both ways because if you demand he will either vie for the blue spot making him your enemy or he will park in the pink spot making him passive and uninterested in fighting for you and your request.

The only way you can hope to win is by parking yourself in the pink spot. But honey it’s not enough to park yourself in the pink spot you must also STAY IN YOUR CAR. What I mean by that is don’t get start telling him HOW to do it. Remember, he’s in the blue spot.

Then you can have the healthy dynamic you are seeking or you would not be reading this book. He becomes your partner in providing for you and not your enemy. He wants to naturally provide for you as an extension of his masculine nature which is to protect you. He provides joyously and with generosity.

You receive and appreciate and stay in your car, which is now joyfully fulfilled, parked in the pink spot.