More Mojo Stuff:

It would be nice if I had a moment alone to write. But I don't. And that's Ok. I have a family and they are here, my husband is feeding the little one.

I lay there, Esther poking me with her finger while she did her "organ and emotion determination". I poked her back and we laughed. Those deep deep deep belly laughs you only share with true sacred soul mates.

I asked her if we could search deep inside, like we had done for the parasite. She did her little pokes, which she said is a combination of cranio-sacral, Somatic Experiencing, and all the tricks in her 30 yr old practise bag and she said, "neurotransmitters".

Recently I had been working on a bout of postpartum anxiety and depression. There is nothing like having a child to bring up all your stuff, she said.

She asked me to go deep within and picture what the field looked like when I "came in" because she twitched her little fingers and they told her it was upon conception.

I felt the field. I could not feel myself. I just felt dizzy, anxious, a turbulent wave of emotions. She asked me to search for my essence. I did just that and went deeper, and I saw many many miniature lights, oh they were so warm and beautiful, on a stone path.

What should I do now, I asked my guides. Follow the little lights, they said. I walked to a house and I found my mother, father and aborted sister there. It was my family.

It first I recoiled back but then I was so happy to be there, with all of them again. To BELONG there with them. I had rejected them because of the emotional instability that they created together.

I went to be with them and I just reveled in their presence. I a stone drop in my gut, the regret that I had rejected them. I put my hands up to receive and I declared that I accept and I love them, no matter who they were, and even if they were emotionally unstable.

I hung out there for a while, a few ideas bouncing in my mind but I felt such acceptance and joy. And That joy was sending joy neurochemicals in my system, Esther said, and balancing my neurotransmitters.

I felt at peace with my family of origin and I think what that means is I can be at peace with my family of choice.

Since I had written my daughter a song, a challenge was put to me to write my mother a song, or just play, "did you ever know that you are my hero" and send it to her. I remember I sang it to her when she had her open heart surgery.

Thank you God for the opportunity to do this work, thank you my angels and guides for the journey.